When I use the phrase, "the most horrible place in the world," you may think I'm referring to a jail cell in Azkaban, or lying next to Captain Ahab tied to Moby Dick, or even the line at the DMV. If so, you are wrong. I am referring to a place we all know far to well; Walmart.
I had to get several things for our ward primary and food for my dog. I decided since I could get these things cheapest at Walmart, I'd just go there. I started out in the dog food iasle. Things were fine there but went progressively downhill. Things weren't where I thought they would be, and if I did find the place they should have been, they were out. For example, logic would tell me; blank CDs are kept with the CD cases. This is not the case at Walmart. Once I finally found the blank CDs, the only ones in the format and quantity I needed had a picture of a skateboarder on them and said "power up." I didn't think these were the most appropriate CDs to load with primary songs and give to the primary children.
It was about this point in our trip, Simon sensed the horibleness of the place and began to hollar. All he wanted to do in that moment was to leave the store, or chew on the dirty, well-used cart. To curb this desire, I had to hold a baby ring two inches above the cart side for him to chew, while trying to shop one-handed.
Just when I thought this trip couldn't get any more difficult, we entered the grocery section. I rounded the juice section and picked up two jugs of white grape juice for Simon. I immediately dropped one, which exploded all over the floor. I picked it up, put a new one in my cart and went to look for a Walmart worker. 349875394857 hours later, I found a Walmart woker and told her what I had done. I continued my shopping, waiting to hear the announcement for a clean-up on iasle 6. 15 minutes later, I decided I should try to find a different worker, when I heard the announcement on the intercom.
That behind me, I moved on to the paper goods section. I picked up a pack of 100 spoons, 100 forks and.... Walmart doesn't carry a pack of 100 knives. I found a pack of 36 in a more expensive brand (about the cost of the packs of 100), put it in my cart and headed to the next iasle. Then, below my cart, I heard the sound of things falling. I looked down and there were 36 knives under my cart, on the floor. I pulled out the now empty knife bag and realized there was a gaping hole in the bottom. I went back to the same section and got another pack of knives, carefully checking for holes in the bag.
I was finally done with my trip, so I headed to the check-out. After waiting in line for 40 days and 40 nights, I loaded my groceries on the conveyor belt. I told the checker about the juice and said it was fine if she needed to charge me for the one I broke. She gave me a confused smile and said "k." I realized shortly after, English was not her first language.
When I got out to the parking lot, I was much more frazzled than I had been an hour before. It did all end on a bright note though. A man in the parking lot gave me a minature candy bar for filling out a survey. At first I was annoyed to be bombarded after such a miserable experience, but there isn't much I won't do for chocolate.
Driving home, I tried to think what it is about Walmart that makes it such a miserable place. For me, it's too big, too crowded, always out of what I need and the majority of the employees are rather unhelpful. Perhaps Walmart just has bad juju for me.
After yesterday's trip, I've re-enstated my vow to never enter the doors of Walmart again. That's just my own personal way of sticking it to the man. Hopefully this time, my vow will last a bit longer.
One good thing did come from my trip. I got Simon the soft Nuby sippy cup. I want to thank Erin, Michelle, Tiffany and Sharlie for the suggestion. When I gave it to him this morning, he did throw it a few times, but no violent wall-throws errupted. He actually drank the majority of the formula! There is hope yet! Thanks again.
10 comments:
Oh the hilarity of it all!! You crack me up so bad. I love the "juju" comment, I had tears rolling down my face on that one.
I know the feeling- but it's one of those "I hate how much I need you" sort of deals with me and Walmart. You know what gets me the MOST perturbed here.... does it REALLY take all 6 girls to get toilet paper... and they're either all dolled up to the MAX or all in Pj's... as long as they're "twinners'... gag me.
I'm pretty sure we can all relate to this. I certainly have a great distaste for going into that store. However, I've actually come up with a solution...so pay attention, everyone.
You simply go to Wal-Mart at 5:00 AM. There hardly any stockmen blocking the aisles with huge pallets full of goods, and everyone seems to be quite cheery.
Easy enough, right? :D
HAHA!! Let me guess...you went to the Springville Walmart?
This is the second blog I've read in recent days about hating Wal Mart (three if you count the one I wrote last spring). It's amazing how I can spend time browsing and enjoying myself in Target (even during the remodel our store recently went through) but I will run away from Wal Mart before I've even found all the items I need just because I can't take it anymore. I think for me it's the fact that the employees don't care, half the customers are on meth and the merchandise is organized by Rain Man. My solution: send my husband at 5 a.m.
Oh my, wal-mart must have something against you!! I also get frustrated with the long lines etc. but never have I had such a horrible shopping trip. I would vow the same if I were you! Good luck with your future shopping endeavors!!!
Oh I HATE Walmart! I can easily spend an hour aimlessly roaming at Target looking at things but in Walmart, the few times I go, it's in and out and quickly as possible all while touching the least number of surfaces! Plus, the intense lighting gives me headaches.
Pallets are not store displays. No!
I try to never shop Walmart with kids and I try to go in the wee hours of te morning when I know that all of the stupid college kids won't be there. Just like Katy said, does it really take the whole apartment to shop. I am soo sorry about your trip but I totally agree.
Okay, I admit it. I LIKE Walmart! To be fair, I like Target, Shopco and even Kmart (which may put me in the loony list). But here's the secret: I never shop with toddlers, I go in the mornings when the crowd isn't a crowd, I try to allow lots of time to browse dolls and baby clothes along the way, if I have the least doubt where to find something I ask somebody (other shoppers are just as helpful as an employee), and I occasionally sing with the music or do a dance step on an empty aisle.
Of course, there were times when I battled all the same things you describe, and had 5 assorted kids in tow; which may be why I enjoy myself so much, now. Even when I go with Shannon to assist, I find it much more pleasant than she does...perhaps I'm loony after all....
I like Walmart, I'm sorry to admit such an atrocity. However, if I'd had the same experience as you I'd have sworn I was at Kmart. That sort of thing always happpens to me at Kmart.
My favorite line is 'stick it to the man' cause Adam and I always joke that he works for 'the Man' and that's why it feels like 'the Man' is running our life sometimes :). I guess Wal-Mart fits right into that feeling too. I have to admit I go to Wal-Mart a lot cause it's practically next door and it's cheaper, but I always go at 7am w/o kids and never Friday-Sunday or the month of December cause it's so crazy. Call me next time and I'll babysit.
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